Real Mom Talk — What really goes on behind that Instagram picture

I have two adorable, sweet children. I love them beyond words and consciously try to take mental snapshots of them as I know time flies and I’ll look back and miss these days.

That said, I have gone through some motherly things that were more challenging than I anticipated and are difficult to talk about at times. And completely separate from that, while I love them times infinity, there are many moments where they drive me totally bonkers. They can be infuriating, wild, impossible to figure out, whiny, and OMG can I just have five minutes without miniature humans touching, hanging or clinging onto me? (Seriously, constantly wondering how my mom did it with five.)

So my goal is to share the real day-to-day life with babies and children in general, rather than just the seemingly perfect, filtered snapshots we normally see on social media. This includes the spit ups, the blow outs, the breastfeeding struggles, the tantrums, right along with the adorable baby coos and giggles, the big eyes looking up at you while you’re nursing, the out-of-the-blue “I love you” from your toddler — all real life stories of this journey through parenthood. Because I think we don’t talk about it enough, and then when we’re trying to deal with real things, we feel alone. And while I don’t think we’d wish some of our most difficult situations on our worst enemies, it does help to know that someone else gets it; someone else has been there; and someone else came out alive on the other end.

I think this has been dwelling inside me since my son (first child)’s birth. I had a really rough go of it and really had no idea what to do with myself, what to expect with the recovery once I got home and really struggled with just coming to terms with my new reality. I turned to Google and it took me a long time to find out that there was actually a Facebook group specifically for people who dealt with the main issue I was facing at the time. I was amazed and baffled, honestly, because although it seems like there’s a Facebook group for everything, this seemed a bit far fetched. That group has gotten me through a lot of hard days, questions, and just helped me to realize that some of what I am dealing with is, while not normal, not completely abnormal for my specific situation.

As I’ve plowed, leaped, cried and smiled through parenthood the past three years, there have been so many situations like this. And as more of my friends have had babies, I’ve unofficially made it my personal mission to reach out to them and let them know some things in advance of what was to come and what would be normal, hoping that by sharing they wouldn’t feel so alone as they were dealing with it. I like to tell them I’m an open book, that after becoming a mom nothing is TMI and if they ever have the most random question or just want to vent or ask if something is normal, that they can totally reach out to me.

I truly mean it, too. And as I’ve had other friends or family have babies alongside me this second time around, it’s helped me in turn, as every baby is apparently so different and you end up having totally different problems or different versions of the same problem. And I have my go-to mom friends who I can text to commiserate, see how they’re doing and if they have any tips, or share milestones and joys with as our babies do cool new things.

I love being a mom and sharing in others’ joys and helping them through their struggles if I can. And all of this I say on the same day that I had a break down in the morning because I just wanted to get the kids out the door on time so I could squeeze a workout in. (Instead I got a toddler who refused to wash his hands and threw a fit because he wanted to keep his PJs on although we were already late and a 6 month old who spit up all over me three times in five minutes). It’s amazing the roller coasters we go through some days. But that’s what I’m here to talk about. The real, day-to-day, ups and downs and in-betweens of being a mom.